Turning Down a Job
Posted on April 7, 2006 22 Comments
We are frequently defined by our jobs. For instance, where I live, social status is often defined by job title. When meeting someone new, people tend to ask, “What do you do?” But lately I’ve been thinking…what can jobs we’ve turned down in the past tell us about ourselves, about who we hope to become?
Although I’ve been working steadily since I was 13 (yep, I actually used to answer phones at my local church’s rectory for a measly $2.75 per hour), I’ve turned down four jobs in my lifetime. The first two were in college. One as an activist for an environmental group that involved door-to-door, on-foot work to fill petitions, and the other a marketing “internship” for a group that wanted me to wear a dolphin suit on the weekends.
After college, my first job offer came from a high-profile consulting firm and offered more money than I knew what to do with. I initially accepted, but much to my parent’s horror, turned down the job for a lower-paying internship with my current PR firm. Recently, I also turned down a director of communications position that offered more money but required a move I didn’t want to make.
Looking back, the jobs I’ve turned down tell me something about myself. After all, as we seek to define who we are and what our elusive career paths might be, exploring all options is one way of ruling out who we aren’t.
The jobs I turned down in college illustrate two things: First, I refuse to wear anything even remotely close to being covered in blue fur or involving long hours on my feet (the one waitress job I held in college only lasted for a month). I’m much more comfortable in the office environment, and I feel a sense of self worth from engaging my mind, rather than my body, in work.
Second, although I love working with people, I can’t be around new individuals all day, every day – I find it exhausting. I need a job that offers a team environment and some quiet time. The prospect of constantly going door-to-door, on my own, putting on a happy face and hoping for the best, seemed like an endless headache to me.
In college, the jobs I found most fulfilling were those that honed my creative skills, impacted my resume, allowed me to take on leadership positions and relied on teams as a support system.
The real-world, full-time jobs I’ve turned down – as a consultant and communications director – also taught me important lessons about what I seek from a career and from life.
Although the consultant work would have paid well, it meant a life on the road, working horribly long hours and living in hotel rooms. Ultimately, I couldn’t sacrifice my relationships with friends and family to work in a position that did not appeal to me half-way across the country, in a different city each month. Although the pay, benefits and vacation were perfect, the job wasn’t. At the time, I would have considered making those sacrifices for a job in communications, journalism or PR – the areas in which I earned my degree and which I felt passionately about. In the end, I ended up making a much different sacrifice. I worked for next to nothing with no benefits to start a career in a field I love.
So, although my Web site is called the Budgeting Babe, and I constantly complain about money, now you know my dirty secret. Ultimately, I’d choose a fulfilling career over big money any day. And I feel good knowing that. Hence, the lesson from my consultant decision.
The last job I turned down was as director of communications for a company in a mid-sized, midwestern city. It was a difficult decision because it involved a promotion and a raise, and was in my field. But in the end, I considered aspects of my lifestyle that I love that would be missing from the new locale, and I researched the possibility of upward mobility in a mid-size market. And, despite the fact that the job was worth fighting for, worth all my consideration and time, not everything about the situation appealed to me. And to make a significant move for my career, even for a promotion and a raise, everything about the job – from the pay, to the workload, to the lifestyle, to the earning potential – must be perfectly aligned with my needs.
Of the jobs I have accepted and those I expect to take in the future, I know what I value. I seek a fulfilling career in the communications field that involves team-focused work, and I value leadership positions in those teams. I want to feel creative and passionate about the causes I work for, because ultimately it feeds my soul more than deep pockets. I seek upward mobility and recognition for my accomplishments, and I hold on to the possibility that tomorrow can be better than today. I never want to be “stuck in a rut,” so I need diversity on the job. Despite all these career needs, I value my friends and my family, and life outside my job, so obviously a work life balance is important.
Sounds like too much, right? How can one person possibly find all those things in today’s job market? The best advice I ever received from an advisor in college was to hold out until I found a job that was perfect. She told me how she was the last one to find a job offer out of school, but that five years after graduation, she was in the small minority of people who were still working in their first jobs out of school, not because she needed to, but because it made her happy.
I couldn’t agree more. I was tempted to take the consulting position just to have that sense of security. I was tempted to take the communications position to fulfill an immediate need, rather than my long-term goals. But ultimately, I fall into the category of my advisor five years out of school. I work for the same company I started with, and I’m still happy. I can’t say the same for many of my peers.
So if you’re not happy with your job, take a look at your needs again. Could there be a more perfect job for you out there? One that better fills your needs? Did you accept your current job out of an immediate need for security and stability, or did you hold out for the one you wanted? Think about these things the next time you interview, the next time you complain about your job. If you don’t love it, there might be something better waiting for you.
DISCUSSION
If you plan to comment on this one, I’m interested to know: What jobs have you turned down and why? What did you learn about yourself from those offers?
Category: Career
Tags: job search
Comments
22 Responses to “Turning Down a Job”
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April 7th, 2006 @ 7:38 pm
I just turned down a job this week after accepting it. The reason was that they were not upfront with me. When I asked about benefits, the details were not spelled out. After I signed the acceptance letter, I discovered that insurance did not start until after 6 months and it would cost 400 of my 1200 take home pay. With day care costing 700, I would literally make 100 a month to pay the rest of the bills. I found another way to get the insurance through a private plan for much less but I still decided not to go through with the position because I felt they were not being upfront about their company. I worried that there would be more “suprises” for me later and I actually have found a few more out that are even scarier.
April 7th, 2006 @ 7:40 pm
Hey there! Enjoyed reading your post. I’m currently freelancing coz I’m waiting to enter University, so this post really made me think about my career goals. Personally I feel that everyone should enjoy their work, since it adds up to a big portion of their life. I’ve been in both scenarios, circa apprx 2 years ago: A) There was a web design job where I could work from home and still earn an attractive project based salary. B) A start out job at a local movie magazine as an entertainment journalist / junior film critic…but the intern pay was bordering on poverty levels.
I chose the job at the movie magazine, coz although I didn’t mind web design; I was and still am a total movie junkie. Entertainment journalism was a tough field to break into, so I reckoned it was now or never. I stuck to the 4-month intern job and survived by doing design work on the side. After that I continued to do freelance design and they kept me on as a contributor, there were some months where I was barely making it, but the work was enjoyable and I got to meet lots of great people.
Two years later, the local movie magazine I had been contributing articles to got bought over by a bigger media organization. This was when I started to do freelance work for them (as in getting paid real $). The freelance pay was much more than my intern pay, and I only had to go to the office for 1 week out of every month: to help assist during their deadline periods. This was ideal, because the time off enabled me to do my freelance design work as well, while having a good deal of time to myself. I could finally chill a little and indulge in my personal artwork as well.
After two years, I had also accumulated a presentable portfolio in the areas of design, copywriting and entertainment journalism: fields which I absolutely love working in. I used my portfolio to gain entry into the local University’s school of art design and media and will start my degree course in August.
Two years ago, I would not have known the importance of that simple job choice. If I had taken the higher paying job, I would probably be better off in the financial short term…but poor in the long haul ideal.
Yea, just my experience. Oh well who knows what the future brings. =D
may the force be with u!!
- Jon Leong
April 7th, 2006 @ 7:54 pm
I declined another position in a different location within my company two weeks ago. I went through the interview and realized that I would be happier where I am right now. A dozen other people at my location also interviewed with me, and I think they all also turned down their offers. While the offer was for a quickly growing part of the organization, it would have been doing something I didn’t like doing as much as I do now. That, and I would have traded my 6-minute commute for one that varies from 30 minutes to 2 hours. I don’t think turning that offer down says much about me other than I know the difference between a good offer and a bad one, and I’m not afraid to decline the bad ones.
April 7th, 2006 @ 8:20 pm
I turned down a job recently because I felt like I would just be doing grunt work and not learning much. Right now I need experience more than money.
April 7th, 2006 @ 8:50 pm
I have turned down an assistant restoration ecologist job before…I think it’s because I knew how much dirt digging and hard work the job would have initially involved. I’ve had my share of working under the sun, so I thought I’d try the half field/half office jobs instead and, gave up my initial dream of becoming a restoration ecologist. Oh yeah….entry level ecologist jobs aren’t the highest paying either.
April 7th, 2006 @ 9:26 pm
I have turned down jobs that paid less than what I made. I have turned out jobs that just offered 10% over what I made.
I do not have any issue with a job on the road, nor I would have an issue with a hands on job that paid more than what I earn.
Fortunately we live in a rich society where we can pick and choose which jobs we take. Some people can even forego having a job at all. We are all so lucky!
Money And Investing
April 8th, 2006 @ 1:28 am
It’s so funny that you were asked to serve as a dolphin mascot, because I once turned down an internship for a classical music festival that would have required me to dress as a cello. I turned it down to intern at another agency which ended hiring me on. : )
April 8th, 2006 @ 1:33 am
I just turned down a job offer because I didn’t get a sense of ‘fun’ or ‘honesty’ from the hiring manager. It just didn’t feel right. If I’m going to be spending 40 days on a job, I want to enjoy it!!
April 8th, 2006 @ 1:56 am
I actually cannot think of any job that I have turned down. Wow, I guess I need to start being more selective.
April 8th, 2006 @ 3:47 am
Great post. I am fresh out of college with a degree in education. I turned down a teaching job which was offered to me less than one week after graduation. Most people thought I was crazy (teaching jobs are so hard to come by in my area) but something told me it just wasn’t right for me. Now I know things happened like that for a reason because it gave me the chance to really decide for myself if that would be the road I took for my life.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
~Robert Frost
April 8th, 2006 @ 12:01 pm
Congratulations! Life is all about choices, and it seems you are happy with the ones that you have made regarding your career. This is the true sign that you have done the ‘right’ thing. My motto is ‘No Regrets’ and it seems that you can share my motto. But it seems that some of the bloggers are missing the point. These are informed choices that you have made and they have worked out great for YOU. Each person is different. Not every person should hold out for the perfect job. Not every person should take the safe route and stay with what they know they know they love. I took a full time job while going to school full time because I wanted to make some money. I became a 911 dispatcher. I knew nothing about it and wasn’t even sure if I could do the job, but I was intrigued and the money and hours were what I wanted. I finished school and now have a BA in English and a BA in Speech Communications. I always assumed I would teach with my degrees (or at least use them). But it turns out that the job I took just for money is a job I love and I am very good at it. I looked into teaching this year and realized that I would have hated and resented it. Risks can have huge rewards. Making a ‘mistake’ can have even bigger rewards. I accidentally found where I was supposed to be. So congratulations on making choices that have made you happy. And good luck to your readers that make ‘mistakes’ and find a whole new calling.
April 9th, 2006 @ 3:52 pm
Since departing the military, I have turned down two job offers:
The first choice was between a field service tech in NYC vs. an in-house tech position in central IL. I chose the later based upon a few facts: first the salary was higher in the NYC position but I would spend my days on the road (in traffic… ACK!!!) and the cost of living was WAY higher than it was in IL. One advantage of being in NYC was that I was going to be close to my family… however, my wife was not that excited about becoming a New Yorker. So I chose the IL job based mostly on money matters. In the end, I disliked my job after 60 days and suffered through an additional 2 years, so as not to kill my resume.
The second choice was between a small start-up firm in MD and a large medical equipment company in PA. The small firm was psoting for a management position, but over the course of several conversations with the owner, it was revealed that he was really looking for a technician with “leadership potential”. Since one of my goals in the new job search was to get into a management position, I was pretty taken back by the fact that the owner was trying to “doop” me into a technician position with no clear timeframe for advancement. When I interviewed for the medical equipment company, I found that I would be filling a new position and basically have “plenty of rope to hang” myself with. the hiring manager made no attempt to hide the fact that there were going to be many challenges ahead for me. I chose the medical equipment company because I felt that the people were very honest, the position was going to challenge me, and it was close to family. The money and benefits were better and I have been happy ever since.
April 9th, 2006 @ 7:34 pm
You should remove the comment from Work at Home guy. Come on “seks video”? What kind of site does that person think this is?
April 9th, 2006 @ 10:22 pm
I’ve only turned down one job – at university. The company seemed interesting but I found out from the interview that the base pay would be awful, the commissions based on sales would be tough to get to, considering the product and position. The responsibility would be huge – manager etc, but I couldn’t face the prospect of little pay and no benefits for a lot of hard work.
Another job I should’ve turned down – my instincts were screaming NOOOOO – was an admin role in a small company. The boss was a jerk and the office manager was unhappy. I lasted 5 months and got headhunted to my current role, which I love. I ended up staying friends with the offfice manager and she’s still there, as unhappy was ever. Can’t do that to myself.
PS Great blog!
Mandy
April 9th, 2006 @ 11:41 pm
All my years in corporate life (20+!) taught me to trust my instincts – I knew in my gut whether a job was right for me or not, so the real challenge was to follow my instict even though it could be difficult short-term. What’s been important to me has changed as my life and values have changed. About a year ago I turned down a highly visible (and lucrative!) consulting position that I knew I would have done well, but something told me to say “no” – first, it would not have allowed for the work/family balance that is most important for me at this point in my life, and secondly, something told me that the position was akin to piloting the Titanic as it was going down. I said “no”, which burned a temporary bridge; however, my instincts proved correct: one month later, the project sponsor and head of the division left (his email to the division employees basically said “I believe in what you’re doing so good luck with that …” as he went elsewhere), the intiative proved to be a disaster, the person they brought in after me was fired, and the burnt bridge moved out of the division into another area of the company. It’s been a year and the division still hasn’t recovered – who’d want their name associated with that? I’m happy in my current consulting gig, a little less money but a lot more flexibility, and secure in knowing that my gut is usually right.
April 10th, 2006 @ 1:21 am
Yeah, deleting that comment now…
April 10th, 2006 @ 4:05 am
I recently resigned from my first “real” job following college. Since then I have turned down several jobs. Some in my field, some fairly lucrative for my area, and some just okay.
After my previous experience I have made a decision that I will be making an informed and deeply thought out decision affecting my career for the next job. By turning down jobs I feel that I am taking control of my life. What good is a job that pays if you are miserable everyday?
April 10th, 2006 @ 5:43 pm
I turned down a job in a big East Coast city that I love because of a relationship. I landed a paralegal job at a top 20 law firm that would have paid much more but turned it down because it would have meant that I’d need to move and put a lot of pressure on the relationship. The relationship just ended and now I am in a Midwestern City with no family near me (I am a West Coast girl), but in a job that I love. I have decided to move back home sometime within the next year, but I have no regrets about staying. I have had a wonderful experience for someone my age in terms of my occupation.
In the Midwestern City, I had a job that paid well and had people working under me. I switched to my current job where there’s only 3 of us and it was a 25% paycut. But I am glad I took the job because it has been low stress, I work with some of the smartest people I know, I have the most understanding and perfect employer, and I have had a lot of hands-on experience that will help me in the future.
My philosophy is that everything happens for a reason and as long as you try your hardest, everything will work out in the end. Sometimes, that means making financial sacrifices. In the end, whatever your reasons are for declining or accepting a job offer, it will work out for the best.
April 10th, 2006 @ 9:35 pm
Definitely learned the heard way about being selective. I had something land in my lap when I was approaching busy season in what I call pseudo-consulting (consulting hours but not on the road). Well it was a disaster from Day 1, turned out to be a mom and pop, never turned a profit in its 10+ years, had fictitous staff other than the mom and pop for most of the 10+ years, and everyone ever hired for my role had been fired. Turns out I was hired to do hard core stats work not what my background was in- business research.
And learned all but the last bit day one. In the end I found a better job but I had hand forced to resign and it was demoralizing.
April 11th, 2006 @ 1:29 am
I’ve turned down two jobs that I remember. One was just the kind of job I wanted except that the pay was so low I couldn’t live on it. It was a private teaching job paying half the rate for a public school teacher. They didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want the job when so many other people love it. I explained that all those other people must have spouses with good incomes.
The second was too brainless. I ended up with a better job in that same department and sometimes have to back up people with similar jobs during rush times–so glad that’s not always my job!
I also quit a job at which I could no longer improve. I was ringing up groceries and sacking as fast as I could imagine physically doing, and I still timed someone waiting 30 minutes from the time they got in the end of the line to the time they left. I found that unacceptable.
I learned that I want to be at least competent at any job (ideally I’m fabulous), but it doesn’t just depend on me; it also depends on the employer.
I also refused to apply for a job that paid more but involved answering the phone all the time because I knew I wouldn’t like it or be that good. Unfortunately, the person they hired quit during a hiring freeze, so I got to do that job anyway, in addition to mine, at my same old pay, for five months. But after that I got to go back to doing just my old fun job.
I never did get the job I first thought I wanted (teaching), but I learned that I enjoy having the kind of job that I can leave at work after 5:00 and the kind of job that has low stress. I’d much rather practice frugality than stress-reduction, prioritization of my social life, etc.
And now I think I know the job I really want (online course developer) and am training for and seeking that job.
April 16th, 2006 @ 7:33 pm
There were a few jobs in my life that I should have turned down…what nightmares.
September 26th, 2006 @ 12:13 am
If anyone who has passed up a promotion would be interested in sharing her story in an article on the subject, please post your email address. Thanks