On Confidence
Posted on March 29, 2012 3 Comments
After a triathlon in 2010
As many of you know, I am an avid athlete. These days, I’m mostly a runner, but I also do triathlons. On Sunday, I had my best 8K ever at Chicago’s Shamrock Shuffle; I finished the course, about five miles, in 45 minutes. That’s a full two minutes faster than last year and seven minutes faster than the first time I did the race in 2008. Pretty exciting!
Now I’m starting to train for my second Olympic distance triathlon, happening in June. I selected a flexible training plan that looked like it would fit well with my work schedule – each sport, two days per week. It’s the same plan I used for last year’s Olympic tri, which I finished in about 3 hours, 17 minutes.
But as I’m working through the plan, I notice that my “base level” of fitness this year is better than it was last year. In fact, my times have been dropping in the past year – in 2011 I set new “personal records” in every distance I attempted. … I must clarify, none of these times qualify as actually being fast, I’m usually a solid middle-of-the-packer for my runs and a back-of-the-packer for triathlons (my bike and swim times are really slow). And yet, this year I’m not attempting any new distances and I’m not doing any tougher training than I did last year.
Why?
For one, the next step up, both in running and in triathlons, is MAJOR. For running, the next distance is a marathon. For triathlon, the next distance is a half-Ironman. Part of me worries that juggling the training schedule for both of these distances would be too difficult a challenge to balance against my work, my commute, my family, and my social life.
There’s another factor though, and it’s the bigger one for me. I’m terribly intimidated, and I don’t think I can do it.
How I still see myself - bad form, heavier, struggling (2008)
Confidence.
I never really understood it when people said a lack of confidence could hold them back in job interviews, in their work, and in life. But in the world of sports, I find myself paralyzed at times. I still think of myself as a slow, plodding, asthmatic, often-injured, weak, penguin-runner-type who doesn’t have the strength to go to distance. And yet, time after time, my mentors and online training peers tell me that I’m better than I think I am. I don’t believe them. I usually believe, wholeheartedly, until I actually cross the finish line, that there is no way on earth I am going to do the thing I set out to do. I stress myself out. Yet time after time, I cross the finish line; it might not be pretty and it might not be fast, but I cross it. And I’m usually elated that I did (see picture above, taken at the finish line).
In looking at the next few weeks of my training plan, I wondered, am I setting too low of expectations for myself? Should I have picked a tougher plan? Could I be doing more to get stronger and increase my endurance? I won’t know, because in picking the easier plan, I’m not really challenging myself; I’m heading down a familiar path. Mostly to build confidence.
I wonder if this is what happens to us in our jobs. We take the job description that looks less intimidating (and earns less) because there’s no way we see ourselves doing it. We see ourselves as timid entry-level, not C-suite material.
Maybe it happens in our education, too. We don’t take the GMAT because deep down we’re worried the results won’t be great. And we worry about the time it takes to study, and the papers we’d have to write once we get in, and how would we balance all that with our families and jobs and social lives?
It definitely happens in investing. We’re terrified that we might lose what we put in, that the cost will not be worth the risk. We go with a lower risk strategy or none at all because to invest wisely, we’d need to spend the time learning to build our confidence.
In sports, the strategy to build confidence is two-pronged. First: train, train, and train again. Second: Do it, and don’t worry about failing. In attempting the thing you fear, you have already succeeded.
I think we should try to apply some of these learnings to our financial lives. But how? Here’s where I’d love your response:
What have you done to build confidence that has worked? In anything, or in finance, doesn’t matter.
When have you held yourself back because you were afraid of failure?
What is something that will “build confidence” for those of us who need some help with it?
I’ll start: In business, interviews are terribly important. Instead of prepping at home, alone, “train” yourself like an athlete does. Set up informational or mock interviews with friends or family to have them give you feedback, so that you can get comfortable with your performance. Give the friend your resume, have him or her ask you tough questions, and dress like you’re going into the interview if you have to – all of these things will give you confidence so on interview day fewer things seem unfamiliar or intimidating.
Now it’s your turn. I look forward to your suggestions!
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*Budget Travel Friday will be back next week.
Category: Life
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3 Responses to “On Confidence”
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April 1st, 2012 @ 12:26 pm
Thanks for this! I am currently being recruited for a position that I know I probably could do but it is going to be a challenge and really make me did deep and develop new skills. I’ve been wondering if I should stick with my current position that is easier and pays less or accept the challenge of something new that pays better. This post was very timely and I think has helped make up my mind to accept the new position and not to limit myself. Thanks!
April 2nd, 2012 @ 1:00 pm
My friend, Suebob, just wrote a post recommending joining Toastmasters. In this post she’s specifically talking about building public speaking confidence but I think, from looking briefly at the program, it would build overall confidence, improve interview technique, and just be a generally fantastic thing to do for oneself.
http://suebobdavis.com/2012/04/01/public-service-announcement-782/
April 2nd, 2012 @ 5:29 pm
Wow guys, great feedback! Carrie, please keep us posted on how everything goes! Kizz, Toastmasters is great for building confidence.