A Character-Building Week

Posted on February 22, 2011 6 Comments

It’s only Tuesday, but it feels like an eternity has already gone by this week. My uncle passed away peacefully on Sunday night at the hospital, surrounded by family. They got him to smile before he departed by playing songs by Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Doug Kershaw, and George Jones. Hopefully he’s gone to a better place.  It feels too early to lose him, but I guess we don’t get to decide when our time with loved ones is over. My mom is sad; she said she keeps thinking about him and crying.  I’m trying my best to comfort her with phone calls and “I love yous,” but I’m glad her sister is staying with her for the week, and I know that her four living siblings are staying in constant contact with each other this week to fill the void. Today they were running around digging for photos for the memorial service on Saturday.  My family may not have a lot of money, but we’re blessed where it counts … I feel very fortunate that in times of loss, grief, and sadness, I can turn to any of my relatives for friendship, counsel, and comfort.

I walked around Sunday night  and most of Monday in a fog until life forced me to focus elsewhere: B’s Bar exam started early Tuesday morning, so on Monday night we packed him up and took him downtown (Chicago) to the Hilton Conrad, a quiet (and quite fancy) hotel just blocks away from the exam that will serve as his home base until the test is over on Tuesday. It’s nerve-racking to send off your significant other for such a life-changing event; this must be what parents feel like when they drop off their children for their SATs. As he got out of the car to check in, I basically threw my silver Tiffany’s love knot ring at him (he got it for me a few year’s ago and I wear it every day) and told him to keep it in his pocket and put it in his hand if he gets nervous, “because it’s smooth.” Sheesh. I just wanted him to feel some connection to help ground himself if he starts to feel rattled.

Speaking of feeling rattled, I’m trying my best to find healthy ways to deal with all this stress. Unfortunately, my stomach is just not cooperating. I’m trying to eat normally but finding I just can’t. My usual caffeine in the morning is too much to handle, too, so I’ve been drinking decaf coffee or tea and slogging through the day. I tried drinking some wine to relax this weekend and that was a disaster. The only thing I can really do that is guaranteed to calm me and sooth my stomach is working out – I managed to get to the gym Saturday, Monday and Tuesday… thank god for endorphines.

Hopefully next week will be a little more normal. I’m set to start training for my spring races the first week in March (my long distance goals are a 10-mile run and maybe an early summer triathlon), and then on the 17th we leave for our long weekend in Charleston. If I can just hold on until Saturday’s service, I think I might get through this.

Category: Life

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