Dream Big
Posted on March 24, 2008 9 Comments
Complete this sentence:
In ten years, I want to be _____________________.
Did you dream big?
***********
Last night, at a family party, my sister-in-law, cousins and brothers discussed dreams and aspirations. All in their 20’s, they wrestled with unknown futures.
“I want to do PR, cosmetology, personal training and event planning,” my 20-year old cousin lamented. “Isn’t there anything that lets you do all that?” She’s trying to pick a major, and is majorly stressed about narrowing the possibilities.
“I have no idea what I want to do,” my 26-year-old sister-in-law sighed. She has a fashion merchandising degree, but yearns to do something more. Trouble is, she doesn’t know exactly what that might be.
My 22-year-old brother joined the club, “I’m in film school, but I don’t know what to focus on. Part of me still wants to do animation.”
As I started reflecting on my career aspirations, they interrupted me. “You’ll never have this problem,” they said, “you always know what you want.” We laughed and I insisted I could relate. After all, I noted, there’s still so much I want to do with my life. But ultimately they excluded me from the club; I can articulate my goals.
Or can I? At 28, do I know what I want to be in 10 years?
Ten years ago, at 18, my answer was something like this: “I want to be a successful communications professional.” (I was still picking a major.) Four years later, during my senior year of college, my answer had evolved to “I want to own my own PR firm by the time I’m 30.”
But today, when I ask myself that question, my internal answer comes back a little differently than in years past: “In ten years, I want to be happy, loved, adventurous and healthy.”
When did my dreaming become so vague? What does it signify? Is this a problem?
I pushed myself to do a little more thinking. Truthfully, I haven’t thought about 10-year-goals in some time. My goals lately have been much more short-term: save money, buy a house, become a vice-president at my firm, get married. That’s probably the five-year plan. But what happens after that?
(Crickets chirp.)
Apparently my ten-year-goals are a little non-existent. Or, just a little ambiguous… as in, “be happy, loved, adventurous and healthy.”
So tonight, I’m going to dedicate a bit of time to envisioning myself at 38. After some thought, here’s what I see.
I am… a mom. A career woman. A published author. A homeowner. An investor. A runner. A traveler. A mentor to the underprivileged.
Wow, it actually feels kind of scary to put it down in writing. What if I fail? That’s a lot to do in ten years.
I wonder if we become more afraid of failure as we age. At 13, I was unafraid to write that I’d be a physical therapist or a marine biologist by 23. (And clearly neither of those paths worked out.) At my college graduation party I didn’t flinch to tell people my plan to own a PR firm by age 30 (yet another one that didn’t work out). And frankly, I’ve never been one to hold back my financial goals on this Web site (which for now seem to be working just fine).
But suddenly I’m scared to state the goals above. Maybe they feel more real. (They certainly don’t seem out of the realm of possibility.) And yet, from this vantage point, I now know how much determination they require. How much focus. How much energy. Do I have it in me to keep going once I reach a good position within my company, have my own place and am enjoying life? At what point do I kick back, relax and enjoy who I’ve become?
I have no answer for that question. But I do know that once I’ve set things right for myself, I believe I have more to accomplish in this world. Though I’ve certainly been very focused on building a life for myself throughout my 20’s, I never intended to stop there. So it would be a betrayal to myself to stop dreaming now, to stop setting big goals, to stop pushing for the next level. Ultimately, my life has never been about creating what’s best for me. I hope that I can create a great life for children of my own in the future, and that I can give back to the communities and people that gave so much to get me where I am today.
So there, you see. I do have long-term goals for the future (phew!), they were just a little buried, bogged down by the short-term craziness. Maybe when we’re younger, we aren’t less afraid – we’re just more practiced at dreaming, at imagining the possibilities for the future. Turns out I just needed a reminder to keep dreaming big.
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9 Responses to “Dream Big”
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March 24th, 2008 @ 11:03 am
What a great idea for a family get together. Sharing dreams and aspirations is a fabulous way to find out about what another wants out of life etc.
March 24th, 2008 @ 12:25 pm
Good for you to dream big, my dad always said “Go big or go home!”. I kept journals from when I was just a teenager and my goals were so different from where I actually am now at 43.
My life has taken a completely different path from what I envisioned and I couldn’t be happier. Remember your life is always evolving and changing and your dreams should change along with it.
Failure at one thing brought me success at something else I never dreamed of. Never be afraid of failure!
March 24th, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
I’m 39 now, so just about where you’re looking, and your goals scare the pants off me.
The reminder to dream big is a good one. Thanks for that.
March 24th, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
I think it’s easier to have goals (and say them out loud) when you don’t have to rely on someone else to make them happen. Marriage and kids being the goals, your future husband being the other person and main factor at achieving said goals.
Ps. When you asked my goals for the next 10 years- they were get married and have kids.
Easier said then done.
March 24th, 2008 @ 11:00 pm
Lovely goals! It is scary to put them out there, but I’m so impressed that your goals reach out to other people rather than just being about personal improvement. Good luck!
March 25th, 2008 @ 1:37 am
Your goals sound like a great life.
I’m actually surprised by how consistent my goals are over time…I wrote this huge list of everything I wanted in life at age 18 and 9 years later, 7 of the top 10 are still the same (and I have some of them.
).
March 25th, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
I definitely want to own my own home in ten years. I want to have a job and career I enjoy (I guess i now have 10 years to find what that is). I want to have someone in my life I am in love with and that is in love with me–marriage is not mandatory. I want to have the same good friends I do now, plus more. I want to be physically and mentally healthy. And I want to have travelled the world, and have a few favorite places (and friends in each place).
Something is missing there, though–i don’t want kids, but the above seems like not ENOUGH. I guess i have to figure out what that something is…
March 27th, 2008 @ 2:39 pm
This was a really good post. I’m actually a little bit of your 20-year old cousin, 26-year-old sister-in-law and yourself. I’m 21 and I’m about to graduate with a double major in both public relations and sociology and I have no clue what I want to do. But I do know that by the time I’m 30, I’d like to own my own PR firm, as well.
March 28th, 2008 @ 8:09 pm
Most people are afraid to dream big, so the things they really want their future to lead to never actually happen. Some of the best insurance that you will achieve your dreams will come from the ability to enunciate, understand, and grab hold of your dreams. Congrats on your thinking big!
Jerry
http://www.leads4insurance.com