To the Extreme

Posted on January 31, 2005 2 Comments

I must confess to a guilty pleasure: “Extreme Home Makeover” makes me cry. Every week, I bawl like a baby during the big reveal. It’s so heartwarming and bittersweet! I remember a recent episode where a family’s house burned down to the ground and the father died. The three surviving daughters and their mom were forced to live in a car, using a sparse outhouse for their bathroom. At the end of the show, each woman received her own bedroom with individual bathroom, the family was given amazing “great room” (fireproofed from floor to ceiling), and the contractors donated college money to all the girls. Ty and crew even built them a functional B&B to earn cash on the side. The show was a play on the myth of the Phoenix, rising from the ashes to a greater form. I ate up every minute of it.

I think I respond to the show so emotionally (literally, tears stream down my face) due to my economic perspective. I was raised to believe that no matter what you have, you can always achieve happiness. Paradoxically, I also learned that the more money you have, the happier you will be. In other words, material possessions aren’t everything, but they sure are nice. Money, from my perspective, ensures that the cake will have icing.

The show’s producers select families with a strong bond who have fallen on hard times. Viewers like myself find these families deserving of the extravagance. The show wouldn’t be nearly as compelling if they selected an average WASP-y suburban family with 2.5 kids and some deep internal conflict. I can see the dialogue now, “Smith family, because you need to work on your communication skills, you’re getting a brand new home!” We then go to the confessional, where Bill admits to cheating on his wife and Susan tearily acknowledges that her cold, distant manner has isolated her husband. Can you imagine? The show would flop in a second!

What does this all have to do with budgeting? I’ve digressed, I know. Let me explain…

I shop and buy when I’ve had a bad day, or when I’m feeling blue, because I believe I’m basically a good person who’s fallen on a hard time. The ability to buy that beautiful shirt on sale is my icing; it makes the day’s events just a bit sweeter. Good things should come to those who are deserving, my brain says. The day may not have gone well, but happiness is always within my grasp. By default, I turn to shopping to bridge the gap. This is a mistake.

My goal now is to re-discover non-shopping actions that bring me closer to happiness. Working out, writing and photography help – anything that serves as an emotional or physical outlet helps clear and de-stress my mind. I went to Church a few times this month and found it helps me listen a little closer to my heart. The friendship and comfort of loved ones is another factor that I should focus on.

As we begin careers in our early 20′s, it’s easy to let emotional and physical outlets drop from our list of priorities. We focus on work, loose touch with out best friends and forget the simple things that make us happy. I don’t want to discount the importance of working hard, developing a career and saving money. But as I continue down my path, I want to know that I haven’t squandered what I’ve been working for on superficial items that only bring momentary grasps of happiness.

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Stupid purchase update:

I went into Ann Taylor with a $50.00 gift certificate and came out $18 poorer with a new pair of work pants and a shirt for my suit. Then I went into Target with my mom after spending $16 at Applebee’s and spent $30 on sale items. Darn it! I know it won’t break my budget (since we’re at month’s end), but seriously, how hard it is to restrain myself? Given that I bought this stuff before I wrote the above entry, I think I can recognize that I had a pretty stressful week at work and am feeling sick now, causing me to let down my guard.

Now I’m off to my closet to admire my new additions, since they’ll be the last for a while. Next month all disposable income goes towards my wisdom teeth!

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