Twixting

Posted on January 20, 2005 2 Comments

A new article in Time magazine introduces readers to a social group the authors dub “twixters,” which basically encompasses all non-married Americans ages 20-30. Naturally, I became intrigued – the article is about me, after all.

While reading the issue, I took note of the sweeping generalizations; I scoffed that one word could describe such a vast group of people (indeed, the article focuses less on how we got to this group and fixates on who we are); I wondered why they couldn’t come up with a better word.

But after reading the article, I was suprised to find myself agreeing with at least part of the conclusion – I’m part of a new generation, a new mindset, a newfound freedom. While the authors can’t decide whether being a twixter is a bad or good thing (they seem to place a lot of blame on colleges and parents, even providing a ridiculous parental “how to”) this is for sure – twixters are the new norm for educated urban dwelling 20-somethings.

Also, and I’ve thought this for a long time, 30 is the new 20.

How do I mean? Well, personally, the things I always imagined I’d achieve for myself right out of college take longer. A stable career is hard to find when only internships are available right out of college. After working three internships, I finally was offered my first full time position at 23, meaning that after college I had to move back to my parents’ house until I was 23. By the time my mother was 23, she was an “adult” by popular standards: she was married with a child. I won’t do either of these things until I am at least 28. I can’t imagine children before 30.

I also pictured myself owning a condo or house by the time I was 25…that won’t happen until 30.

So what am I doing between 20 and 30 if not getting married, having children, rising on the career ladder or buying a house? To be sure, my career is going well and I’m thankful for it. But it’s not what I would consider stable – I am building a foundation for it. Same goes for the relationship – we’re building a foundation to work upon. This foundation of relationship and career will carry me into my 30s, hopefully more stable than if I had rushed into my life.

That’s not to say it’s all good – some people, such as my boyfriend, 28, have a really hard time trying to figure out “what to do with life.” Waiting for a passion, a calling – some way to feel complete in his career – is frustrating and I think lonely for him.

But for me, at 25, I still have a lot of options to consider when thinking about my career, my location and my future. I think that’s the difference from past generations – everyone was in such a hurry before to settle down. Now that we’re living longer overall, we’ve got an extra few years to play with. And we’re taking full advantage of it.

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