I Finished my First Triathlon! … But Accomplished so Much More
Posted on June 16, 2009 44 Comments
“Today, you’re starting this race a different woman than you will be when you finish it.” Cheesy, I thought to myself when I heard the race announcer say it. I wanted to get going.
I was standing alone at the sandy start line, amidst 2,000 women in goggles, wetsuits and rainbow-colored swim caps, shivering from a mix of cold weather and deafening anxiety, struggling to push down the lump of panic that was slowly forming in my throat as the announcer spoke. This was the morning of my first triathlon, and though I was amazed by the energy, enthusiasm and emotion of the crowd, what I wanted most in the world at that very moment was a friend, someone to share it with, someone to calm me down. I was tired of explaining to all the nervous and smiling girls in my wave that I was, in fact, alone here; that I was racing by myself. I did not consider myself brave or courageous. At that moment I felt stupid for thinking I could handle such a thing. I wanted the race to start. I wanted the sun to come out from the clouds again. I wanted to see my family and my boyfriend and my friends.
But I had told everyone to arrive in time for my swim start at 8:24 a.m., not for the start of the race at 7:00 a.m., and so I was alone (and had been since 5:00 a.m.), surrounded by a swirl of competitors and energy and rubber and precautionary sunscreen. The only thing that kept me sane was Twitter; if I didn’t know anybody in the mob around me, I could at least broadcast my experience to calm my nerves. And so, I continued tweeting right up until B appeared at 8:00 and took my phone for me. It was the only thing I could do while waiting impatiently for the race to start.
I had no idea I would be so nervous. Ten weeks ago when I signed up, it was almost on a whim. I was planning to do a half-marathon in 2008 and was secretly hoping to follow up with a marathon in 2009, just in time to count the accomplishment before I turn 30. But instead I injured my back and ended up at the chiropractor, the doctor and the X-ray machine, with a prescription for physical therapy and no prognosis. I was frustrated and unhappy and gaining weight. And I hurt. Yet there was nothing wrong with me. “You have the Mladic back!” my dad pronounced. My dad has had two back surgeries. This was not welcome news.
My co-worker suggested a triathlon. For whatever reason, I signed on without giving it much thought. She sold it pretty well, “Anyone can do a triathlon. If you get tired, you can just sidestroke in the pool, pedal slowly on the bike or walk the run. It’s short. You can do it.” And I bought it. I signed up. I figured I could get at least three others to sign up with me. I overestimated my persuasive powers. Apparently not many people like doing three sports in one day.
I, on the other hand, thought it sounded fun and less harsh on my back than running every day. And so my training began, six days per week for ten weeks, running, swimming, biking and strength training.
At first people were supportive. My Facebook page was filled with messages of support. But that support quickly eroded. It was spring in Chicago and my friends didn’t understand why I wasn’t going out. My best friend, whom I love dearly, needing my support through some things in her own life, wished I would “get over this working out thing” I was doing. (Joking, of course, but half-way serious.) It hurt to not give all of myself for my best friend. But I couldn’t be up until two in the morning every weekend; for my health, for myself, I needed to focus on training. I invited her to start working out with me to start a healthy habit, but she declined. I tried to be there as best I could, but post-workout, work-night phone calls are usually pretty empty.
She wasn’t the only one I left hanging. “You know, sometimes you get on a streak where we see you often,” another close friend explained. “And other times you sometimes drop back. This is just one of those times. Nobody expects you to be out year round.” Still, it felt to me like everyone was out and about, whooping it up without me. And I was letting everyone down by not being “fun Nicole.” Despite my disappointing social performance, I kept my training schedule.
I made compromises for the sake of my workout schedule every day. To wash the dishes or go to the gym? To stay out with clients or go to the gym? Time and again, I committed to the triathlon. After a while, the commitment got easier. I was happy at the gym. I found a rhythm in the pool. I slept better after a hard workout. The stronger I felt, the better my back felt. Soon, my back was a non-issue and I was feeling great (with a very dirty house). In May I ran a personal best at a 5K charity run. My uncle told me it was the best he’d ever seen me run.
But as I listened to my body more and my distances became longer, I noticed another hurdle: My exercise induced asthma was getting worse. At the finish line of that personal best 5K, my chest tightened up. As my dad raced for my inhaler, I began to worry yet again that I wasn’t fit for a triathlon. But unlike my back issues, this time I didn’t put off a trip to the doctor or try to work through the pain. A trip to the allergist and a list of confirmed asthmatic allergens later, I started on a new regimen of lung treatments designed to get me through the triathlon. Within two weeks, my lungs were performing up to speed with the rest of my body. Physically I was ready.
Mentally, however, I was building myself into frenzy mode.
Two weeks before the race, with local temperatures hovering in the 50’s at night, I began obsessively checking the weather. The week of the race, I was in full panic mode. I was texting my coach — the same friend who encouraged me to do the race – to share my concerns. Should I get a wetsuit? Water temperature turned into my favorite discussion topic. And it stayed that way until the day before the race.
The day before the race, the highest temperature didn’t even reach 60. It was pouring outside. The fitness expo was filled with amazon women, all who had wetsuits. I did not. I probably asked ten people what to do. Each had a different opinion. A 50-year old told me it would be no worse than a cold shower. A muscled, superfit athlete told me I absolutely needed one. I weighed the $300 cost in my head ($300 for 15 minutes?!?) and talked a vendor down to $150 for a suit. Ultimately it didn’t matter. Standing in the rain, trying on a suit too big for me, I learned not one vendor had a wetsuit for rental or purchase in my size. The nail was on the coffin. I was going to swim cold. I went home and chugged a bottle of Cherry Pepto.
That night, B and I checked into the host hotel, a Holiday Inn in Naperville, about an hour outside of the city. Another woman, also in total freak out mode, told me how mad she was about the hotel choice. Now, I know this sounds ridiculous, but the moment I stepped into the hotel I knew the universe was trying to tell me something. A six-foot-six, two-hundred-seventy-something pound man in a kilt was standing at the desk with a puppet on his arm, letting the puppet do the checking in. Behind me, a man with hair to his butt in head-to-toe tie dye was discussing photography with a couple in what I can only describe as renaissance gear. A few tipsy elf girls strolled off the elevator, looking for the nearest party.
“Sci-Fi convention,” the woman at the front desk explained. For some reason, a wave of relief rolled over me. I’m pretty sure that was somebody up there – my grandma, my grandpa – telling me to lighten up. Enjoy the moment. As I walked outside to gather my things, the sun broke through the sky.
Later that night, I ran through my pre-race checklist, packed my bags and set out my supplies for the next day: helmet, race belt, sports bra, tri-suit, shoes, Gatorade, banana and more. I slept well that night. As well as I could, I guess, considering I would awake at 4:30 a.m.
My alarm jolted me out of bed in what felt like the dead of the night. I dressed in the dark, rustled B out of bed and off we went, he sleepily and I electrified, into the sunrise. We passed some sci-fi-ers smoking a hookah. I don’t think it contained tobacco.
B dropped me and my bike off at 5:00 a.m.; I insisted he go back and sleep until 7:00 a.m. He was working on a paper for his summer law clinic and he couldn’t be in the set-up transition area anyway. I was on my own. I got my body markings (one for your swim wave on the leg, and two for your bib number on the arms). I thought they looked cool. I hope I looked confident. I was honestly fine at this point. One girl told me I was brave for being without a friend. Another lended me sunscreen. We debated the benefits of the wetsuit yet again. The sun started to heat up the parking lot, the energy level rose and I was excited.
Which brings me back to the beach. After two hours of mental preparation and meeting fellow triathletes, I was suddenly feeling very alone, wishing I hadn’t blown off my friends for ten weeks, pushing down the panic of the unknown and cursing myself for the mental drama.
And then, my internal crisis was rudely interrupted by the blaring of a horn, indicating the race had started. I was 90 minutes away from my wave start – it felt like a week – and it was a roller coaster. I was awed by the power of the elites, I was humbled by the cancer survivors, I was swept up by the spectators and fascinated by the ages of the oldest competitors. One woman walked out of the water and immediately needed her cane. But she did it. She walked up the beach with her cane.
B showed up right on time. He carried my warm-up fleece, snapped pictures and hugged me good luck wishes. But he was a spectator and so when my orange cap went on, he stood in the spectator area, cheering me on. I signed up for this by myself, and I would do this myself. I had to get in the water and get going. The waiting was killing me.
My wave got into the water at 8:20 a.m. The sun made a re-emergence and was proudly beaming down on our group as we playfully cheered ourselves on. There were 50 of us or so. I was positioned in the back, goofily grinning and looking out of place. By the time I got in, the water had warmed to 70 degrees and I instantly knew my worrying had been for naught. This was it.
The air horn sounded and we were off, a mess of flailing limbs and splashing, bobbing bodies. The swim was harder than expected. I could not swim straight. I could not get into a flow. I kept bumping up against slow breaststrokers in front of me, and getting lapped by fast swimmers behind me. I could not break free from the pack. I swallowed a lot of water. I worried the women in front of me had peed in the pool. It felt like an eternity in the water; like a floating roller derby. I was winded when I got out of the water. I had to keep going.
The next leg was the bike and that wasn’t difficult for me, but I went a lot slower than anticipated. I didn’t pass ANYBODY on the bike. (I was counting.) Lots of women passed me. Still, it was sunny and my energy was good. I caught sight of my aunt and uncle, cheering me on loudly from the sidewalk and it bolstered my spirits. I started to hear people cheering on the streets. I smiled the entire second lap of the bike. By the time my hour-long ride was over, I was having a ball. But the run was still left.
I had heard a lot of girls freaking out about the run in the same way that I freaked out about the swim. The run, however, was my best leg of the race. I ran the whole way. I passed people. I said, “Keep going!” and “Nice job!” to those near me. I ended up running my regular 5K pace, even though my legs were on fire. I couldn’t believe I had the energy. I couldn’t believe I was running. I couldn’t believe I was laughing.
As I came down the home stretch, through the trees on a beautiful summer morning, strangers along the course were reading my name on the race bib and calling out my name. “FINISH STRONG NICOLE!” and “YOU GOT THIS! GREAT JOB NICOLE.” I was soaring. I crossed the finish line and the announcer called my name. I threw my hands in the air. A woman gave me a medal and snapped my picture. I held back tears. My aunt, my uncle and B were waiting at the finish line with congratulatory hugs. I took it all in.
I suppose I realized it then. But I was too tired to think much about it. I came home and posted my race results (1:55:50), shared the news with my friends who couldn’t make it and looked through pictures. I was basking in the post-race buzz. But only today did I truly realize what the race meant to me. I didn’t do this with anybody else, for anybody else. I did it for me. I conquered my own fears, overcame my physical issues and mental anxieties and persuaded myself to accomplish a goal I never imagined I could do. Five years ago, a 5K seemed like an impossible task. Yesterday I finished a triathlon. The post-race big breakfast was nice, but the knowledge of my own strength and the depth of my determination will stay with me for life.
Ten weeks ago I made a commitment. I didn’t know what it would take, or how it would affect me or how far I’d have to reach inside myself to do it. I didn’t realize how much making a commitment to myself would teach me about the life I live, and the life I want to live. Ten weeks ago, I signed up for a triathlon. And today, one day after crossing the finish line, I won’t call myself a changed woman. Rather, today I will call myself a woman for the time in my life.
Category: Life
Tags: Fitness , hobbies
Comments
44 Responses to “I Finished my First Triathlon! … But Accomplished so Much More”
Leave a Reply
June 16th, 2009 @ 5:42 am
This sounds so very exciting! Congratulations!
Amy
June 16th, 2009 @ 9:00 am
hello… hapi blogging… have a nice day! just visiting here….
June 16th, 2009 @ 12:56 pm
Congrats Nicole, that is awesome. I know the feeling of preparing for the race. I did my 1st 1/2 marathon last year, and I am training for a full marathon now and I am really nervous!
Way to go.
June 16th, 2009 @ 1:17 pm
this post made me all teary-eyed! i did a 1/2 marathon three years ago but haven't ran much since i had my son (and am now pregnant again). you've inspired me to try for a triathlon!
June 16th, 2009 @ 2:21 pm
ooo congrats girly! That is a big time accomplishment ! <3
June 16th, 2009 @ 2:48 pm
What a energizing story!
Congrats, Cleo
June 16th, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
Congratulations Nicole!!!!!!. I can empathise with every emotion that you have gone through. I am glad you were able to conquer your fears. Anything is achievable if we put are mind to it..
The best part of your post for me ," you worrying if the lady in front of you pee'd in the water".LOL
June 16th, 2009 @ 3:30 pm
Nice job, nicole. I totally hear you on the sacrifices we make to do these races….nights, early mornings, parties, sleeping, and everything in between. Way to stick with it–you earned that joy at the finish line and it was awesome reading your fabulous description of the race, the vibe and all the emotions you felt on Sunday!! -Liz (in addition to the Time Out Chicago blog, I wrote a different recap at http://www.fit-ink.com)
June 16th, 2009 @ 3:47 pm
What a wonderful, inspiring post! It makes me want to sign up for a triathalon too! I could feel your excitement and anxiety as I read along. You accomplished what you worked SO HARD to do and no one can take that away from you EVER! Enjoy!
June 16th, 2009 @ 4:43 pm
Congratulations!!!
June 16th, 2009 @ 5:00 pm
Nicole, congratulations!!! on finishing your triathalon and nailing your goal! Awesome!! You are a wonderful writer, and I felt like I was almost there with you during the training and the event. I've been wondering where you were (fewer posts), and now I know.
And I think it's REALLY especially awesome that you did it by yourself. I think most times it's the hardest thing of all to strike out on your own on a project, especially emotionally; but the feeling of independence and strength and achievement after you've completed makes it worth all the panic experienced on the way to completion. And it does change you forever for the better. I don't train and have no desire to, but I do other activities where I experience the "alone" vs. "talk someone into doing it with me." And while the doing it with someone is easier and less scary, the "alone" brings the greatest rewards in every way. True leaders tackle things "alone." Kudos to you and thanks for sharing!!
June 16th, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
Nikki, for sure, for sure, for sure I want to do one with you next year!!!!
June 16th, 2009 @ 9:35 pm
I teared up when I read this, I really did! Beautifully written. What a wonderful accomplishment!
June 17th, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
I am sure fans must have got impressed with this blog!!!
June 17th, 2009 @ 3:54 pm
Wow this is an amazing testimony of what you've accomplished! That's awesome. I signed up for a half marathon and you've totally inspired me that I did the right thing. Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful story.
June 17th, 2009 @ 8:23 pm
What a great post and even greater accomplishment! Congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself. I trained for and ran my first marathon without anyone else, so I know that alone feeling. Great work! I'm so impressed!
June 18th, 2009 @ 8:12 pm
Nicole: You have so much to be proud of. This is another great accomplishment to add to your already long list. But, this one is special, cause you did it for you, and you alone. Congratulations.
Nancy B.
June 20th, 2009 @ 12:12 am
Hi Nicole,
I wanted to leave a comment to say congratulations and also to let you know that you have inspired me. I have been reading your blog since 2005 and your writing and blog helped me get out of $26,000 of debt and now I have over $10,000 in savings. Thank you so much for being so open and honest on your blog. I now have started a blog to share my getting out of debt before getting married experience. If you would like to read it please go to: http://janieoutofdebt.blogspot.com/. I would love to hear what you think. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such an inspiration.
Janie
June 23rd, 2009 @ 5:04 am
wow congrats a tri is a big deal
June 25th, 2009 @ 7:01 pm
Thanks so much for such an inspirational story. I, too am training for my first triathlon on August 2. Your story helped to allay some of my fears!
June 26th, 2009 @ 5:14 pm
Nicole, your post left me with tears in my eyes! I ran a half marathon a few years ago and I remember that feeling of accomplishment well. It's more than accomplishment though, as you experienced, it's the awe of realizing what you can do when you set your mind to it. Of realizing you just finished something you never thought you could do. It's amazing. Cheers to you!
June 28th, 2009 @ 6:36 am
Congrats Nicole! As a long time reader, I was wondering what happened to explain your absence from the blog. I am glad to read your wonderful accomplishment – good job!
So, when's the next race? : – )
June 28th, 2009 @ 1:06 pm
What a fantastic thing to do! Congratulations!
I'm trying to run the Big Sur half marathon- I'll be re reading your story over the coming months for inspiration.
July 15th, 2009 @ 1:31 am
Did a search on my first triathlon and I found your blog. I enjoyed reading about your journey. I can relate in that I didn't like to run but then decided to run a 5k and then just completed a 10k last weekend. Tonight, I went on my first cycling ride as an adult and went 5 miles. Now, I'm wondering if I have what takes to do even more. Life is an interesting adventure. Congratulations on your triathlon!
July 17th, 2009 @ 6:01 pm
Great post. I love reading triathlon stories. I just finished my first coed tri this past Sunday… I was so nervous about being in the water with the men! It's such a great feeling to complete something so out of your comfort range!
July 21st, 2009 @ 5:26 pm
hi… just dropping by!
http://www.fileafro.com
http://mobileandetc.blogspot.com
http://kantahanan.blogspot.com
July 23rd, 2009 @ 6:04 pm
That's so incredible!!! Congratulations! I admire anyone who can push themselves to accomplish something that great. You should be very proud of yourself. I'm actually from MyShape.com and would love to offer you a coupon code as a reward for your hard work and accomplishment. Visit http://www.myshape.com and type in coupon code SOCIAL20 when you checkout for a 20% off discount!!! Congrats again!
July 25th, 2009 @ 2:08 pm
Wow…I needed to read this! I'm doing my first sprint tri next Saturday and your story is almost identical to mine (I hope the ending will be just as happy:). Thanks for the great post!
August 4th, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I'm fighting the butterflies in my stomach as I finish my last week of training before my first Tri this Sunday. I'll hope to be as determined as you were to finish well. I've trained since May so my body is ready…just hope my nerves calm down before that horn goes off!
August 4th, 2009 @ 2:03 pm
Congratulations. It must be extremely rewarding to have trained so hard and most important of all accomplish you goal. What's next for you? http//:www.edisonaccounting.com
August 6th, 2009 @ 3:44 pm
I'm very impressed with the running and your blog. Well done you!
August 8th, 2009 @ 6:08 am
Just dropping by to say thanks for all the kudos! This was a really fun story to write and I'm so glad I did it. Best of luck to all of you in your athletic endeavors (marathons, sprints, swims, rides or tris). Maybe I'll see you on the course next time
August 24th, 2009 @ 9:07 am
Commendable job done by you. Congratulations!!!
August 26th, 2009 @ 12:54 pm
Hey i am very happy for you congratulation to you. you are well done all the best.
insurance provider
August 29th, 2009 @ 6:45 am
I am walking around the house feeling like I have accomplished so much stuff.
I don't know if I can do much more than the 30-mile.
August 29th, 2009 @ 7:11 am
I just want to say that It was very good post, it helped me in finding a good affiliate,
September 4th, 2009 @ 7:59 pm
I am so impressed that you have accomplished that great and worthy goal. Staying healthy and seeing a goal like this through only leads to bigger and greater things in your life. There's no insurance that you'll be healthy in life so doing all you can makes all the difference.
Jerry
November 22nd, 2009 @ 1:23 am
I ran my first 5K today, but was unable to run the whole thing – HUGE disappointment to me. Then happened across this blog after spending 4 hours in the Urgent Care with my daughter….
I was tired and a little gloomy after all that… I feel a little more inspired and positive now. Thank you!
December 5th, 2009 @ 5:48 am
Hello,
I must admit that today is my first time I visit here. However, I have found so many interesting things in your blog and I really love that. Keep up the good work!
Buy Essays
December 23rd, 2009 @ 9:38 am
Great information thanks for sharing this with us.In fact in all posts of this blog their is something to learn . your work is very good and i appreciate your work and hopping for some more informative posts . Again thanks
January 3rd, 2010 @ 7:33 pm
So inspiring! I'm also working towards my first triathlon and blogging about it.
March 13th, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
Your accepted wisdom is great. I do welcome your treasured thought. I am enchanted to know your valued intelligence. For more information I will be in touch.
November 6th, 2010 @ 2:44 am
Our toes are a very wonderful piece of workmanship, with 33 ligaments, 26 bones and 20 muscle mass all working together to permit us to traverse throughout any landscape.
August 2nd, 2012 @ 3:08 am
Hi Nicole – Just came across your story when I googled “doing triathlon alone”. My first sprint tri is Sunday. I was encouraged to sign up by a friend who assured I could do this and she’d be by my side: I signed up then she told me last week that she never signed up and wasn’t going to do it. I had gotten another experienced friend to sign up: then I find out last night she isn’t doing it either. Now I’m by myself and freaked out. Your story brought tears to my eyes and a feeling that I can do this – all by myself. I really needed that encouragement. Thanks,