Comments on: Down, down, down

By: SF Money Musings

SF Money Musings — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:05:00 +0000

I'm glad you're feeling better!

You said everything that's been on my mind! I admire your honesty and courage to share something so deep and personal! You're truly an inspiration for me to find some way of coping with my own frustrations and down days.

Take it easy and don't be so hard on yourself!

By: Alichia & Tom

Alichia & Tom — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:46:00 +0000

It is really great to hear that SO many other people, including yourself, are going through the same thing. While I'm slightly younger than you at 25, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years and with all three of my best friends getting married this summer, a few new babies here and more on the way I often feel like screaming. What drives me most crazy is I find it is other peoples comments that have turned me into a bitter person. I'm completely happy with my b/f, we bought a condo (in your hood) last fall but it's just he marriage part that EVERYONE else wants (it's not just parents, it's co-workers, friends, men and women alike) that always ask when we're getting engaged.

I wish people realized that those types of questions are rude and inconsiderate... do you think after 5 years you're the first person to ask such a question?

I don't have any great advice (as I find myself resorting to bad tv and ice cream when i'm not killing myself by working from 9-9 every day).

Just hang in there, find time that is truly for yourself to do the things you love (read, write, etc) and hopefully it all gets better.

By: Tavolini

Tavolini — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 07:04:00 +0000

Ouch. Keep your head up. I am going through the travelling wheel right now. ACK!
BTW, TJ Maxx is the bomb.

By: RookieMom Heather

RookieMom Heather — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 04:22:00 +0000

Some days suck, huh? I hope the weekend turns out to be a good one and by the time you’re reading all of the loving reader comments you’re already dong fine.

By: beth

beth — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:36:00 +0000

I hope you feel better. Here are some thoughts. One of my good friends met her boyfriend *while* he was in law school. There were often times she would comment on never getting to see him, but always said, “Well, Law School had him first.” He graduated last year, and they’re getting married this spring. So, it’s tough right now, but it can get better!

But really, it’s tough. I’ve felt all those things you wrote–it was very much like I wrote that, and you posted it! (Except it’s my baby sister who’s getting married. Well, she’s not engaged yet, but I give it six months. She’s also ten years younger than me. Talk about feeling old!)

Take care. You’re younger than you think

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 21:42:00 +0000

You’re SO not alone, girl! I agree with everybody else, and here’s another suggestion: when I get to feeling down and introspective about what my life’s missing, after a good, long pity party, I volunteer. Sometimes it’s a physical thing (Habitat For Humanity) that lets me get out aggression by hammering and such; sometime’s it’s working for Make-A-Wish Foundation, helping to grant a wish for a sick kid. There are lots of options and it doesn’t really matter what you choose, but it’s been invaluable in my life.

It helps me to concentrate on someone else’s life for a while and to be grateful for what really is, at the end of the day, a very good, very enviable life.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 20:21:00 +0000

If owning a house *now* is a priority, then move to somewhere that you can afford a house.

I agree with whoever said that your boyfriend needs to put you on his priority list. He’s taking you for granted, and you’re letting him. Lay it on the line. Yep, he’s busy, but he chooses to be. He can make time for you, or he can be alone. Do you *want* to marry someone who puts work and school as higher priorities?

By: Natalie

Natalie — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:36:00 +0000

Hey there, I love your blog because I’m a girl the loves to shop and save.
I like your honesty, so I’ll be honest with you. I’m married to a law student. And I see him all the time — after 6 p.m. he’s mine! No studying (well, with a few exceptions!) I’m his first priority, not school — and you want to be with someone who treats you like their top priority.
Now, I’m not saying that it’s not rough — we’re a one income family on a 30K annual salary – mine and I hate being the provider! But I am and it works for us because at the end of the day we’re together. And I really want that for you!! I dated a man for 4 years before I found my hubs, and it was a four-year mess.
Marriage is hard enough with bills, life, details, etc. to marry into a mess. Yes, I know I’ll probably become a widow during finals — but that’s finals. And you’re not supposed to become a widow, on the backburner, before you’re even married.
Anyway, random honesty from the internet.

By: Caryn

Caryn — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:50:00 +0000

Nicole I’ve going through much of the same things. I’m a 27 year old living (just barely) paycheck to paycheck, in a job i hate and trying to figure out what i’m doing with my life after a failed marriage. i think your breakdown on the couch was a wake up call. take a hard look at your life and what you want. i don’t think you should have to put your life on hold for your boyfriend while he goes to law school. he needs to understand that you come first in his life and that while obviously school is important, he needs to compromise with you, as i’m sure you do with him. hang in there!!!

By: Wanda

Wanda — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 06:45:00 +0000

I think your post resonated with a lot of people – it certainly have with me. Thank you for such a honest & compelling post, and I really hope do you feel better.